


Weird Little Greasepit - Sophomore Year - November

by appending_fic



Series: Weird Little Greasepit - Sophomore Year [3]
Category: Buddy Thunderstruck (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Magic, Curses, Gen, Girls Having Each Others' Backs, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Mystery, Mystery Character(s), POV Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 13:10:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14593716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/appending_fic/pseuds/appending_fic
Summary: There aren't enough good guys in Greasepit to keep Muncie's friend Alexis from getting harassed. When someone offers Alexis a solution, Muncie and the rest of the school become ground zero for Greasepit's latest bout of weirdness.





	Weird Little Greasepit - Sophomore Year - November

"-won't take a minute." Muncie growled at the tone before she even recognized the voice. She turned the corner to find Tex Arkana leaning against the bank of lockers, boxing in a form hunched back against them.

"I'd just like to get to class."

"Come on," Tex said, tone getting a hair irritated. "You should be impressed I want to get with you."

"How about you make yourself scarce, Tex? Or maybe I'll make your teeth scarce." Tex pulled away, straightening to his full height, not quite towering, but pretty intimidating to most people. He paused, before leering at Muncie.

"Hey, I was just talking to Alexis, here. But if you want to join in, I would not mind. You, me, and her-"

"Ugh." Muncie pulled back one fist, and-

"I hope no one is fighting in my hallway."

Fart nuggets. Moneybags.

Principal Moneybags, in all his clean-shaven, uncool glory, strode toward them with measured steps he probably thought made him look intimidating. He tilted his head curiously at Muncie. "Miss Thunderstruck? I don't have to remind you the consequences of fighting, do I?"

"No." She let her fist drop, unclenching it and stretching a few moments to ease it. There wouldn't be much point explaining. Tex Arkana had just been 'talking', hadn't been threatening anyone. "Can Alexis and I get to class, or do you need to keep us?"

"Don't let me detain you," Moneybags said airily. "And Mr. Arkana, I'm sure you have other things to be doing."

"Huh, yeah. Later, Moneybags!"

"Yes, later," Moneybags said grimly.

Muncie, though, grabbed Alexis' arm and tugged her away from the scene. Alexis was still hunched over; she rarely stood at her full height, towering over most of the boys when she did so. Once they were out of sight of Principal Moneybags, Muncie pulled them into one of the girls' bathrooms, locking the door behind them for good measure. She then gave Alexis a quick scan, making sure she was alright.

Of course it was hard to hurt Alexis. Her scales, a mottled dark brown and green, made it usually more trouble than it was worth, and fangs two inches long could make someone think twice about trying anything. But for all she had the look of a vicious predator, she was quiet, polite, and tried to avoid looking bigger than other people.

"He didn't do anything, did he?" Muncie demanded.

Alexis shook her head. "No, he was just…" She shrugged. "I'm used to it. Tex's locker is across from mine, and…"

Muncie grimaced. "Yeah. Look, I can swing by here in the morning-"

"Don't worry about it," Alexis replied hurriedly. "He's not that bad, really. I'll be fine." She patted Muncie's shoulder and bolted before Muncie could reply. Muncie glowered at the door as it swung closed, fists clenched uselessly at her sides. It took five minutes to unclench them, to be able to move without punching the wall, and another three before she could manage an expression that wouldn't qualify as 'murderous'. She stepped outside, nearly running into Artichoke.

He caught her shoulders, scowling until he saw it was Muncie, setting her aside out of the flow of traffic. He tilted a curious head at her; she just shook her head back at him.

"I gotta get to class. I'll catch you later."

She could feel Artichoke's gaze on her back as she left, but didn't look back. He could interrogate her about what had happened when she wasn't feeling so on edge, ready to punch the first guy who looked at her wrong. The feeling lingered, however, through most of the day, during which she shoved Buddy out of his chair at lunch to no noticeable improvement to her mood.

She realized only at the end of the day she hadn't seen Alexis since she'd rescued her from Tex's attentions. It was thus, making the rounds of the girls' bathrooms, that she found Kristin Weaselton squinting at her reflection.

"Hey, you seen Alexis?"

"Phorkolaous? No. _I_ don't have any classes with her, though. Don't you?"

"That's why I was asking. She was out of sorts when I saw her earlier." Muncie leaned against the sink next to Kristin, scowling into the middle distance. "Do you know where she might hide out if she wants to be alone?"

"Alone? No clue. But for all she hates talking in front of people, she loves the theater kids."

"Ugh." Muncie slid a few inches down. "Can I just pretend she's fine?"

"What's wrong with the theater kids?"

It wasn't the theater kids, exactly. The theater and music students formed a loose, collective clique, which meant where one found them, one was also likely to find Angus Scattergood, the most insufferable, self-absorbed person Muncie had ever met. And indeed, when Muncie entered the auditorium, Angus was sprawled across one of the chairs in the back row, chatting with a pair of porcupines. He paused, sitting up slightly straighter, when he saw Muncie.

"Hello, love. Can I help you?"

"Not your love, don't need your help," Muncie said, striding past the group. There was an elephant, hunched in the way Muncie was used to Alexis doing, painting a set under the watchful eye of Mr. Moon. Both looked up at Muncie as she approached.

"Oh! Are you here to join the theater club?" Mr. Moon asked brightly.

Muncie looked around, identifying several other students nailing, sawing, and sanding other pieces of setwork. She snorted. "I'm not much for pretending. I was looking for Alexis Phorkolaous?"

The elephant squeaked, so Muncie fixed her with a level stare that was pretty good at getting answers out of the weak willed.

It worked, when the elephant crumbled, pointing backstage. "She said she wasn't feeling great, and I let her in the green room. Sorry, Mr. Moon-"

"No, no, it's fine. The theater is a refuge to those who don't fit in the rest of the world-"

Muncie stopped listening when she crossed backstage, poking around until she found a green door (someone had decided 'literal' was the way to go back here), and knocked at it. "Alexis? It's Muncie. I wanted to make sure-" She paused, going through several variations, "That you're okay."

"Come in." Alexis sounded quiet, but not, say, on the edge of tears, so Muncie entered. The room was dim, the light from Alexis' cell phone the only illumination there. She was reading, and didn't look like she'd been crying, just...tired.

"Hey, you alright in here?"

"Just...needed a place away from...people," Alexis replied.

"I could give you a ride home."

Alexis glanced up at Muncie abruptly, before shrugging. "That'd be nice of you."

"We can even duck out the back way if you want."

Alexis, only half-standing from her chair, paused, giving Muncie a careful look. "Are...you trying to avoid someone?"

Muncie snorted. "I'm fine. I've gone three years without punching Angus Scattergood in the teeth, I can go thirty more seconds."

When she turned to the door, though, Alexis' hand on her arm stopped her. "Muncie...are you okay?"

"I'm _fine_. Angus is just so-" She let out a wordless growl rather than try to articulate it. She was certain he didn't _mean_ to sound dismissive every time he talked to her, but was also certain trying to explain the problem to him would be an exercise in frustration.

"Then the back way is fine."

Alexis' casual acceptance didn't keep Muncie from feeling ashamed sneaking out of the back of the theater to avoid having to talk to Angus Scattergood; her car was within sight of the exit, though, so she didn't have to sneak that far to get there. She slapped the radio once Alexis got in. "Pick your poison, Lexy."

"Oh!" Alexis switched on an R&B song with a syncopated flow that pushed Alexis - quiet, reserved Alexis - to actually dance along, swinging her book as she moved. Muncie snuck a glance at it.

"Old Yeller? You go depressing when you read, don't you?"

Alexis shrugged. "I _like_ classics. And I _like_ sad."

Muncie laughed. "Well let's leave Old Yeller for now-" She chucked the book into the back seat, "and just dance." She joined Alexis' dancing, grooving until they pulled up to Alexis' house. Alexis let her hands drop the moment Muncie turned off the car, head turned down toward her lap.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine." Alexis gave Muncie a gentle smile, worrisome only for its difference from the bright, joyous smile she'd had when the music was still playing.

"You know...if you're having any problems, I'll punch anyone who needs punching."

"That's sweet," Alexis replied, "but Phorkolaous' are supposed to deal with our own problems."

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

Alexis nodded, and then slipped out of Muncie's car. Muncie stayed, watching, uncertain what she expected might happen to Alexis between the car door and the front door to her house. It was a long, quiet drive home, where she found Buddy sprawled upside-down on the couch. 

"What's wrong?"

"I'm bored," Buddy whined.

Muncie resisted the urge to groan. "Where's Darnell? He's usually good for keeping you occupied."

"At work. While I am here, abandoned, bored."

"Well, go pine somewhere else; I've got work to do."

Buddy spun around, glaring at Muncie. "I am not _pining_!"

"Remember back in seventh grade? When Susie Mundane turned out to be an alien and moved back to whatever galaxy she was from?"

"The Sombrero Galaxy," Buddy muttered.

"Yeah, remember how you were inconsolable for weeks?"

"Susie was the second-coolest person I've ever met," Buddy said.

Muncie glowered at Buddy, even though she was certain he didn't see it. "Are you even listening to me?"

"Yes! No? Wait. Are you saying Darnell is an alien?"

Muncie pinched at her forehead. "Can you just clear out before I'm tempted to commit patruelicide?"

Buddy huffed, but headed to his room, leaving Muncie free to get her homework done without a dog with attachment issues sighing every thirty seconds. It helped bring her down from the edge, up until school the next day when Alexis didn't show up. Muncie waited until lunch to go to Principal Moneybags.

He scowled at her when she came in, shoving aside a stack of books.

"You're interrupting important work," Moneybags snapped.

Muncie tilted her head, catching sight of the cover of one of the books. "The Incomplete History of Secret Organizations?"

"Ha! What an imagination you have! This is clearly not a book about the vague and contradictory powers possessed by secret societies of ages past. And even if it were, I would not be reading it to gather their secrets for myself. Now, what can I grudgingly help you with?"

"Look, Moneybags, Alexis has been having problems with Tex Arkana lately, and now she's missing. I'm worried about her."

"Oh, Miss Thunderstruck, you've spent too much time around your reprobate cousin. Imagining that your friend is being bullied and in some kind of danger just because boys notice she's pretty." Moneybags shoved his books further away from Muncie. "In any case, Miss Phorkolaous is absent for medical reasons, as her aunts informed me. So you need not worry about her. Now, do you have any other nonsense you need to pester me about, or can I get back to the business of administering this school?"

Muncie would've liked to storm out, maybe cuss at Principal Moneybags, but instead held it together until just after school, when she grabbed Artichoke by his collar.

"Come on, you're coming with me."

"Urf!" Artichoke hopped once to catch his balance before trailing after Muncie. "Usually people who do that get pounded."

"Lucky I know you wouldn't do that sweet old Muncie. Now come on, I'm going somewhere and I need muscle."

Artichoke made a puzzled grunt. "You don't need muscle. You _are_ the muscle."

" _We're_ the muscle," Muncie corrected. "And sometimes a job needs twice the muscle." She unlocked the driver's side door and kicked open the passenger's side.

"What's going on?" Artichoke asked as he clambered into the passenger's seat. "Running off to thump heads is something Buddy does."

"We're checking up on Alexis, and like I said, this might end up needing more muscle than I can bring to bear."

"What, are we fighting a dragon, or a horde of vicious cannibals?"

"Worse, we're talking to her aunts." That silenced Artichoke, at least briefly, while Muncie navigated out to Alexis' house. She'd met Alexis' aunts about twice, and had left the encounters swearing to avoid any possibility of doing so in the future. The word 'creepy' wasn't quite accurate; 'eldritch' was closer. She always felt like she was being watched when one of them met her gaze, like, moreso than when someone was looking at her.

So.

"Is this a rescue mission, a smash-and-grab?"

"I honestly have no idea," Muncie replied, hands tight on the wheel. "I am planning to quietly and reasonably interrogate them about their niece, and if it all goes south, throw a coffee table at them."

"Hm." Artichoke presumably saw this as a good plan, because he offered no further commentary, leaving the car in relative silence until they arrived at Alexis' house. It didn't look any more foreboding than usual, which meant the columns framing the porch loomed slightly, instead of bringing to mind an ancient, forbidden temple.

She glanced at Artichoke, whose mouth was turned down, pensive as he examined the front of the house. "What?"

"This...is a bad vibe," he said. "Let's go."

He was first up the stairs, though he paused at the door-knocker, which depicted a woman's head surrounded by snakes.

"Let me." Muncie rapped at the knocker, a sharp sound that echoed against the space inside. It was quiet for a moment, before a woman, clad in a dark green robe and veil, pulled the door open.

She turned her gaze on Muncie, briefly, before snapping her head toward Artichoke. "What is _he_ doing here?"

"Um?" Artichoke took a step back, looking around, Muncie suspected, for something to throw.

"We do not allow _men_ to set foot in this house." She made a quiet sniff. Artichoke gave Muncie a wide-eyed look; she shrugged.

"We're here to see Alexis?" Muncie tried.

"Are you." The aunt didn't move, still (presumably) glaring at Artichoke.

"I'm Muncie?"

"Oh!" She turned smoothly, hands raised to be steepled together. "Yes, we've heard a great deal about you. Come in. I'll see how she's feeling." She turned to Artichoke. "And _you_ can wait in the car."

Inside it was about as creepy as Muncie remembered, dark, with flickering gaslights and drapes hung over what Muncie had discovered once to be dozens of mirrors.

"Excuse us for the mess. Alexis is going through a difficult time," the aunt said.

"It's okay, uh...ma'am?"

"Stheno," the aunt replied. "I would have thought you remembered."

"The veil makes it a little difficult to tell, ma'am. Um, is Euryale around?"

"Seeing to Alexis. Come on."

Muncie followed Stheno hesitantly up the stairs to the wide, bright room she knew as Alexis'. Euryale was sitting on a stool next to Alexis, who was sitting up in bed, towels wrapped around her head. Euryale looked up.

"Sister?"

"This is Muncie, Euryale, you remember her."

"'ncie?" Alexis asked through the towels.

"Uh, hey, Alexis. Your aunts said you're going through a rough time?"

"No," Euryale said, putting a hand on Alexis' shoulder. "Don't speak. She is becoming a woman, Muncie."

"Wait. What? Like, uh...her period?"

"Hm, more like Carrie," Stheno said.

"Like...what?"

"Oh, don't worry yourself," Stheno said, patting Muncie's shoulders. "Alexis will be back in school within the week, and you won't have a thing to worry about."

"Yeah, but you said-"

"And now I think you should go." Stheno turned Muncie around and guided her back downstairs, while Muncie tried to formulate a response to subtly determine whether Stheno's use of the word 'Carrie' was a literary allusion or reference to something cultural Muncie wasn't familiar with.

She hoped it was the latter; she didn't remember the people who were nice to Carrie coming out of that particularly well, either.

"So, we need to pound anybody?" Artichoke was leaning against Muncie's car, scowling at the house.

Muncie shook her head. "No idea. But something weird is going down."

Nothing weird happened, however, until Alexis returned to school on Friday.

Because while Alexis came back to school, Tex Arkana Jr. didn't.

Kristin wasn't convinced. "Come on, remember when Tex skipped a month of school to search for the French Riviera?"

"Yeah, but didn't he also nearly drown twice when that siren took over Sludge Puddle Creek?" Mr. retorted.

"Tex _does_ tend to attract trouble more often than the rest of us," Buddy agreed. "Remember that unicorn who stabbed him? And that time he nearly got eaten by that incubus?"

"Do you think...Alexis?" Artichoke offered.

"What, come on, she wouldn't hurt a fly!" Buddy looked to Muncie for backup.

She shrugged, because she'd seen the growing tension in Alexis' stance over the years. "Look, her aunts were creepy as all get-out, and there is one thing a woman means when she uses the word 'Carrie' to refer to a girl who gets bullied the way Alexis does."

Buddy raised one eyebrow. "Bullied? I just thought guys hit on her a lot."

Muncie sighed. "Come on, Kristin, let's see if anyone knows if anyone exploded Tex's head." She heard a hissed conversation between Artichoke and Mr. that suggested somebody might be explaining how 'being hit on' was a sight more upsetting than a bunch of boys might believe.

"Do you think Alexis really exploded Tex's head?"

"God, no." Muncie yelped, leaping back, Kristin huddled behind her. They hadn't been looking where they were going, so hadn't noticed their passage near the dark corners of the athletic wing. Alexis stepped out in front of them. Muncie had yet to ask her directly about it, but Alexis was wearing an opaque grey veil that covered everything except her mouth. She was smiling, fangs just visible. "Oh, don't look scared. I mean you no harm."

That was not exactly comforting, and Muncie could see Kristin's unease, as well. "Um. Your aunts said-"

"They were being facetious. I'm hardly going to telekinetically murder the entire student body. But I can tell you're nervous. Come on, I want to show you something."

Muncie took the lead in following Alexis, hoping that at least she could give Kristin time to get away when Alexis decided to murder them.

"So, uh, Alexis, what exactly were your aunts talking about, if not telekinetic mass murder?" Muncie hoped she sounded 'casual' and not 'terrified', and at the same time getting enough information to give them a chance at survival.

Alexis chuckled. "A special gift. Did you know my aunts are famous?"

"Uh, famous?"

"Oh, yes. There's a famous story people tell about them...and their sister. Surely you must have heard it. How a man did something unspeakable to her, and as a token of vengeance, one of the gods gave them a weapon to wield against all mankind."

There was something familiar about the story, the same way Muncie had found her mind niggling at something when she visited Alexis.

"Their sister is dead, of course, because unlike my aunts, she was mortal. But every now and again…" Alexis stopped at the door to an equipment closet, turned, smirking at Muncie and Kristin. She pulled the door open, revealing what appeared to be a perfectly-rendered statue of Tex Arkana Jr., face twisted into an ugly leer.

"Medusa is reborn."

What followed was a moment of stunned silence, during which Muncie tried to formulate an escape plan. Alexis, on noticing, suddenly laughed, a bright, happy sound Muncie had never heard from her.

“Oh goodness, don’t _you two_ worry! You’re fine. Now come on, I’ve got something to do before the end of the day.”

Despite Alexis’ assurances, it was hard not to feel threatened following her through the halls. Whether she turned them to stone was dependent on how Alexis felt, and aside from a perfectly justified grudge against Tex Arkana, Muncie couldn’t tell what those feelings were.

Alexis’ head snapped to the right, to a vaguely familiar skunk. “Hey, Sean! Wanna see something stunning?”

“If you’re offering to show your-“

Being turned to stone mid-leer didn’t leave an attractive statue, but it did save Muncie having to hear what Sean was going to say.

“Okay, not that Sean Pataki didn’t deserve that, but are we going to be petrifying every boy in school? It feels a little extreme.”

Alexis laughed, patting Kristin’s shoulder. “Well, if we’re stoning every boy who leered at me, made very insistent suggestions, or just wouldn’t stop sending me pictures of their dicks, we wouldn’t have many boys left. And of the rest of them - hey, Josh Larter! This is for laughing when your pal Devon told me that ‘joke’!”

Muncie kept expecting a flash of light or something, but instead there was a living person one moment and a statue a moment later.

“Can you stop with the petrifaction for one second so we can talk rationally about this?” Muncie grabbed at Alexis’ arm, but found the girl moving forward inexorably, either because the girl had always been ripped or supernatural power coursing through your veins was a heck of a motivator.

"Fine, talk rationally. Do you think Tex Arkana didn't deserve that. That Greg Pataki isn't an ass who should removed from polite society?" Someone turned a corner, and with a flick of Alexis' veil, was a statue.

"Come on, Jeremy Warton?"

Alexis turned, and Muncie realized about five seconds too late they were at the principal's office. "Alexis-"

"Miss Phorkolaous, you can't just barge in here-"

Alexis sauntered to Principal Moneybags' desk and reached for the controls to the public address system. Muncie sighed and lunged for the controls herself. The struggle was brief, because Alexis didn't have a stupid cousin and therefore had never wrestled another creature in her life.

"Hey, this is Muncie Thunderstruck. Every boy whose plans for the day do not involve being turned to stone by a vengeful gorgon, proceed calmly to the nearest exit-"

Alexis made a grab for the controls.

"Ow! Hey, get _off_ me, Alexis!" Alexis then ripped the cord out and hurled the speaker away. She stood up, folded her arms, and though her face was hidden, Muncie suspected she was smirking. Kristin had disappeared, presumably to get help, because getting away from the woman drunk on the ability to get back at any boy who'd ever slighted her was a level of common sense Kristin had never demonstrated.

"It's an interesting experiment, isn't it, Muncie? On one hand, a woman telling boys they're in great danger, and on the other, the chance to see a catfight. Which do you think will win out? Let's see, shall we?"

She pushed Muncie aside, ripped her veil away and stepped outside.

Thankfully, there were only about a dozen boys at school who lacked the basic self-preservation skills to heed Muncie's warning. One of them, however, was Buddy, caught in the middle of shoving several out of the way.

His eyebrows were furrowed, teeth grit in determination.

"Oh, real nice, Alexis. You got Buddy." She bent down to pick up Alexis' veil and shoved it into her hands. "Put that on. We are going to your aunts' house to get this fixed. And no more petrification!"

Alexis snorted. "And what are you going to-"

Muncie grabbed Alexis by the back of the throat and slammed her into the half-open door, and into it again when the door hit the wall. She caught the faint hint of a reflection of Alexis face, much the same as it had ever been, except no longer hunched by uncertainty, fear. Even now, she looked mostly angry.

"Yeah, look, I was reining myself in because you are my friend and Tex and Sean and Principal Moneybags are jerks, and I was going to let the Jeremy thing go because everyone makes mistakes during their first rampage. But I will suplex you back to whatever century your aunts come from if you don't help me get Buddy back to normal _now_." She backed off and spread her arms out, challenging. "Unless you wanna stone me right here?"

Alexis took a few deep breaths, leaving Muncie standing there, tense, feeling a little stupid, until Alexis bent down to pull her veil off the ground.

"There we go," Muncie said cheerfully. "Come on out, guys, I've got the situation under control!"

Kristin slipped out of the home ec classroom across the hall, circling the gaggle of petrified boys. “Pretty sure this situation is the textbook definition of ‘out of control’.”

“It is fine. We are going to Alexis’ house to see if her aunts know how to fix this. Is Artichoke hanging around?”

“Are people done slinging around supernatural powers?” came Artichoke’s gruff voice from inside the classroom.

“It’s fine, right?” Muncie glowered at the now-veiled Alexis.

“Yes.” Alexis sounded quiet, meek, suggesting the pause in the rampage was making her reconsider the wisdom of unchecked petrification.

Artichoke stepped into the hall, blocking the door until he was certain no one else was going to be turned to stone, and then stepped aside.

“Oh my gosh, Buddy!”

“Do you have your moms’ van?” Muncie asked Artichoke, ignoring Mr.’s histrionics in favor of being productive. “Because I’m not sure we can fit Buddy in the trunk like this.”

“They got a gig,” Artichoke replied with a shrug.

Muncie scowled at nothing in particular as she considered driving with a petrified high school student in her trunk. Someone had probably called the cops, which meant Sheriff Cannonball was en route, requiring a quick exit if they wanted to avoid awkward explanations.

“I’ve got some spare cables?”

Muncie looked up, the voice startling her from her pondering. She’d forgotten about Darnell, who was hovering near Buddy’s statue, a worried droop to his stance, tail held tight in his hands. And Mr. she had no patience for, but Darnell had probably never dealt with a friend ensnared by supernatural happenings before.

“Good thought. And Darnell-“ She reconsidered giving him honest odds mid-sentence. “Buddy’s gonna be fine.”

“Really?” The change in his demeanor was immediate and striking, ears perked up, tail practically wagging.

Muncie snorted. Boys. “Oh, sure. Pam Winters spent a whole semester aging at what, ten times the normal rate and they ended up fixing that.”

“Yeah, she’s an actuary in Tacoma now!”

“Anyway,” Muncie said, pushing past Mr.’s incredibly unhelpful comment, “Everyone grab a limb and see if we can get Buddy out of here before the cops get here.”

Artichoke ended up doing most of the heavy lifting, although Darnell was surprisingly helpful directing them to avoid bumping Buddy into anything. They made it out to Muncie's car with no further incident, with the exception of when they step outside and Alexis nearly lost her veil to the wind. With Alexis, there were six of them in the car, a situation Muncie wouldn't have tolerated were it not an emergency.

The ride was quiet; even Darnell was quiet, having buried his nose in a book, tucked against the window. He was, Muncie suspected, not really taking it in, because he didn't turn a page the entire trip over. Muncie regretted, briefly, her portrayal of the dangers of Greasepit. A lot of bad shit went down, but actual casualties were rare. There'd been that nasty business with the Cult of the Black Goat about ten years ago, but people in Greasepit had a tendency to bounce back.

And then they were outside Alexis' house, and Muncie set aside doubt and regrets, and stormed from the car. After a few steps, she realized no one was following her, and turned, offering a glare to her passengers.

"Come _on_."

"But-" Artichoke started.

"Get Buddy and _follow me_." The necessary delay took some of the speed out of Muncie's approach, but none of the anger.

She banged on the door, doing so again when no answer was forthcoming. "Stheno! Euryale! You are going to let me in _this minute_ , or I'm gonna rip the snakes off of your heads!"

"We don't actually have snakes for hair." Muncie stopped her hand before she could accidentally hit Euryale through the now-open door. She was robed, and veiled, as normal, and Muncie could sense her focus on the four boys (well, three boys and one boy-shaped statue) on her porch. "And men are not-"

"Nope. Not listening. Bring him in here." Muncie turned and poked Euryale in the chest. "I am done with your rules and your cryptic...crypticness. Your niece turned my cousin into a statue, and none of us are leaving until you fix it."

Euryale stood, unmoving, almost as if she herself were a statue, long enough that Muncie worried she was considering whether to stone Muncie. At long last, though, Euryale sighed, and waved in toward the house proper. "Come on, and bring your friend with you."

It took a few moments to arrange everyone in the gorgons' living room, Kristin perched on the arm of Muncie's chair, the boys crammed into a dingy grey couch under Stheno's (presumably) watchful gaze, Alexis standing, arms folded almost defiantly, by the window, and Buddy as a grim centerpiece.

"So," Euryale said at last. "You wish to reverse your friend's petrification."

"A general cure probably wouldn't go remiss-" Darnell flinched when Stheno flicked her head toward him, ducking away from her.

"What makes you believe there is a cure? Our power is Athena's curse against all men, as punishment for those who allow those who prey upon women to thrive."

"Also for those who prey upon women," Stheno added. "Those ones especially."

"Come on, you can't mean _all men_ -" Artichoke slapped his hand over Darnell's mouth.

"Honey, I think it might be best if you stopped talking," Muncie said gently. She turned back to Euryale. "And as for a cure - Athena's the goddess of wisdom? Seems pretty dumb to make a curse you can't break if you need to."

Stheno slid forward, bending down and drawing her veiled face uncomfortably close to Muncie. "You would be a fine priestess of our lady, Miss Thunderstruck, if you so wished."

"I don't wish," Muncie snapped, "what with how your goddess' magic got my cousin cursed! Why can't you just fix him?"

"Because the cure for one is a cure for all," Euryale interjected, her voice cool. "We cannot free your ostensibly innocent cousin without freeing the guilty our niece has so justly punished. Do you feel your cousin's freedom is worth unleashing the poison his peers embody?"

"Do you know what? I don't care."

"What?" Euryale drew back, one hand raised to her chest. "What do you mean, you don't care?"

Muncie stood, shoving Stheno aside, and stalked to Euryale's side, poking her hard in the chest. "You're, what, thousands of years old? You've probably worked out all the arguments I could make for getting Buddy back to normal, and I don't have time to try to argue all of your points. So here's my position. I want my cousin back. If you don't tell me how to bring him back, I'll find a way to make you regret it."

"Ha!" Euryale shouted. "You are mortal, and have no defense against my gaze!"

"Mirrored. Sunglasses. They're $4.99 at Ziel's."

Euryale stood, silent, breathing heavily, for a long moment before turning away in a huff. " _Fine_. You will allow the misery men bring to continue for the sake of one _boy_. I will tell you the cure. The one who petrified your cousin, must press her tears over his eyes." She threw her head back and laughed, voice high and mocking. "And I think you will find it impossible to bully my niece into crying over him! Come, Stheno, Alexis does not need _our_ protection here." The two elder gorgons swept from the room, Euryale still laughing.

Muncie turned to Alexis, who was standing, arms still folded, presumably glaring under that veil. "Alexis-"

"You've always been good to me, Muncie, but you can't make me cry over him. I can be sorry I got him caught up in this, I can wish there was something I could do, but I can't feel sorry enough to cry. _Especially_ knowing what curing him will loose on the world."

"I'm sorry." Alexis snapped her head around, and Muncie turned, to see Darnell, pale, scrawny, fiddling with his tail, and eyes fixed on the ground. "I don't know what you're going through - I can guess, a bit, knowing the sort of dudes who you _decided_ to petrify. But I know a little...how you must have felt. Helpless. Powerless. Not knowing what's going to go wrong tomorrow." He looked up suddenly, meeting what he must have thought would have been Alexis' eyes. "It sucks, feeling like you can't trust anyone, that nothing's ever going to be alright. I wish you didn't feel so trapped, Alexis. But I also wish I didn't have to look forward to not having my best friend around! I know he's not the best guy around, and I _know_ he wasn't doing his best, but _please_ don't take him away from me."

Something about Darnell's words struck Muncie as familiar, and then she remembered the book she'd tossed in the back of her car and forgotten about. Darnell had been reading near the back, where it got sad.

Alexis sniffled. "Oh, fart nuggets," she muttered. "You stupid-" She reached a hand up to her face, and the three flesh boys averted their eyes or, in Darnell's case, ducked behind the statue of Buddy. But she brushed her hand underneath the veil, and when she removed it, her fingers were glistening almost like diamonds. She stormed forward, swiping her finger across the petrified Buddy's eyes. "Giving me the stupid-ass speech from _Old Yeller_."

Darnell shrugged from his place crouched behind Buddy. "I was reading it on the way over, and I...don't think I could have been that eloquent about it. And I wanted Buddy back and didn't...want you to think I was a stammering moron."

"Still _do_ think you're a moron," Alexis muttered. Something in the statue changed, and Muncie shifted her glance away from Alexis. The grey stone was shifting in color, slowly, toward something more like the color of Buddy's fur, of the green jacked he preferred. It was a slow shift at first, and then all at once, Buddy let out a deep gasp.

"Buddy!"

"Wait!" Alexis shouted, as Mr. launched himself off the couch. But it was too late, and Buddy, when hit with a hug that he could have normally weathered, collapsed on top of Darnell, Mr. on top of him.

"He's been standing like that for like an hour."

"Ow! Charley horse!"

"It might take a while to get back to normal."

\---

Belvedere Moneybags shook his hand again, the sharp tingles still shooting up and down his arm. He bent over his desk, on which lay a large journal, open about a third of the way through. To the best of his ability with his cramped hand, he was writing on an empty page.

_'When women in the community have reason to fear their safety, physical or emotional, or fear for their virtue, the Gorgons may select a girl to grant the curse of Medusa, to defend her sisters by seeking vengeance against all who would harm her, or allow such harm, such abuse, to continue._

_'Some cure clearly exists for the work of this Gorgon, thought I am not certain of the providence of it. But it is wiser, in the end, to prevent the rise of such a creature in the first place.'_

A knock came at the door to his office. "Come in!" Belvedere closed his journal as an ox, dressed in appalling clothing, sauntered in.

"Hey hey, Principal Moneybags. What's up?"

"Good afternoon, Mister Arkana. I suppose you are wondering why I have called you in here. It is to have a very serious conversation about your behavior. Specifically your behavior toward the young ladies of our community."

"Psh!" Tex snorted. "I haven't done anything-"

"The number of complaints I have amassed are great, the variety of them astounding. And before you continue to make protests, I will offer a warning. I am quite displeased with your behavior, Mister Arkana. And if I were to summon Sheriff Cannonball to this office, you would find us of...one...mind on the matter. Do I make myself clear?"

As Belvedere watched Tex leave, he mused on the delicate balance he was forced to maintain. Too much interference, too much use of the power he commanded, could risk disaster. But on the other hand, when keeping quiet risked introducing new threats to Greasepit, the risks of acting were well outweighed by what such threats would do to his town before it was truly his.

**Author's Note:**

> VH'N E PSMDR HJ GZWII HD NXOI E GESOXK GETR
> 
> \---
> 
> In a world populated by anthropomorphic animals, 'Old Yeller' is a very different book.


End file.
